Thursday, March 11, 2010

Love and Justice Win!

Well it's the day after and we wanted to share a few thoughts...

There is music in the air and the song is called Love and Justice Win! How does one breathe in the magnitude of the tectonic shift of March 9th when marriage equality was realized in a concrete and recognizable way? We are not sure but are abiding in the afterglow of our day and a historic moment we shall never forget.

We are not sure how we worked this past week. We both worked, but we were swimming upstream against the mounting momentum of getting married. We applied for the marriage certification on Tuesday, March 2nd. After the press conference outside of the Court House, we each went back to work as though it were just any ordinary day. Yet in both our work places there were constant reminders that things were about to change for the good, not only for us but also for the many. As I (Candy) walked the hallways of my Federal agency, voices from multiple directions caught me off guard with their expressions of “congratulations Mrs. Holmes, we saw you and your partner on CNN, etc.” Some didn’t know how to reference us but they felt compelled to say something to let us know we had their support. How wonderful!

As the week progressed we rested some, yet even in sleep we were still awake on so many levels. How can you really sleep when every nerve in your body and every feeling in your essence are wired to the aliveness of this kind of moment in time? Though we slept, our spirits stayed awake for certain! Awake and watching history unfold as justice wrapped its arms around us and the entire community of “us” that had previously been barred from passing through the legal gate of marriage.

Throughout the week, requests for interview after interview poured in, each one allowing yet another opportunity for us to speak our truth in love. Of course there were lots of questions regarding being African American lesbians who were not only religious but also clergy; the fullness of who we are rocked some of their worlds. We fielded questions about support from our families, our workplaces, our church, etc., and what it meant to have all these places merge. To all of it we could say with a resounding affirmation that we have received an outpouring of support and love for which we are so grateful and that it was a wonderful experience to be whole in every aspect of our lives.

Rehearsal Day was March 6th. We kept wondering how in the world it would be possible for there to be three weddings in one hour. But you know what? We were too deliriously happy and had better things to worry about, like our shoes. Hello! The HRC (Human Rights Campaign) worked from start to finish like magical servant leaders to ensure that this experience was about and stayed focused on the three couples. From being present with us at the courthouse to transforming their Equality Center into a sanctuary, they were simply amazing! Our hats are off to HRC.

Right after the rehearsal, we were interviewed by a Washington Post columnist who has been following us since Candy’s congressional testimony around same-sex partner benefits in June 2009. We had seen him again in July when Candy went to the White House to with President Obama as he signed a Presidential Memorandum to extend some benefits to the domestic partners of Federal employees. The interviewer was gracious and respectful as he asked me about the impact of marriage equality on us as a family with a Federal worker and on all those who work in the Federal Government. We so appreciated the opportunity to connect the dots regarding same-sex marriage in DC, with other issues where the struggle is not over -- DOMA, DBPO, ENDA, and DADT. His article appeared on the day of our ceremony on the Federal page.

Well, the big day finally arrived and we felt like we woke up into Christmas, to borrow a phrase from one of the other couples! Hallelujah!!! (That’s Candy’s Pentecostal side – LOL). The day started early and love showed up. Knocking at the door of our hotel suite was a gift called Monet. She is by far one of the best make up stylists in the DC area. And she worked wonders on our “not enough sleep” faces! (smile) Then love knocked at the door again in the person of our BFF -- Donna Payne, who is always there for us, walking in with our breakfast and most importantly our JAVA! Then love knocked again and it was another friend with a camera in hand ready to take photos personally for as long as we needed. Thanks so much, Kareem!

Around 8:00, we were whisked off in cars sent for us and taken to a hidden entrance into the HRC building, so as to avoid the press. What we found when we walked in was like a fantasy come true -- our friends and family waiting for us. Friends, police officers, escorts, caterers, camera folks – everyone smiling and eyes so full of that something that said – “we are with you.” What a feeling!

For almost two hours, the three couples and our attendants waited inside the green room for 10:00 to arrive. Though HRC had generously provided us with coffee, juice, water, and pastries, I think we were all too anxious to eat or drink much at all. Finally, the magic hour arrived and the first couple left to claim the sanctuary as their own. The rest of us stayed in the green room, watching each other’s ceremony on a short-circuit TV. And then our time came.

Rev. Dwayne Johnson (Pastor of MCC DC), Candy’s brother, and Donna processed in before us as the voice of Rev. David North singing one of our favorite songs -- I Love You Just the Way You Are – filled the sanctuary. Stepping arm-in-arm into the center aisle, we carried one another to where yesterday, today, and tomorrow would meet and our lives would be forever changed. As our ceremony moved too swiftly toward ending, we remember feeling a wave that lifted us. For a moment, we thought that wave was the anticipatory hope and dreams of not only me and Darlene, but of the countless people who desire equality. And then the words were spoken that now and forever will be remembered as the shot that was heard around the world – “By the authority vested in me by the District of Columbia, I now proclaim you legally married! Now no longer separate, but one.”

I think we all won on March 9th. Better yet – Love and justice won!

PS. Thanks to the management of Annie’s Paramount Steakhouse who, upon hearing that we were in the restaurant for lunch, honored us with a bottle of champagne. And thanks to the father of young lesbian who, sitting alone in the corner eating, gifted us with a round of whatever we wanted. You have just got to love our community.

Related articles:
Washington Post

The Root

The Associated Press

Associated Press (w/ photo gallery):
Associated Press - "In DC, blacks were crucial to gay marriage debate":
New York Times:

Washington Post:
Washington Post:

Washington Post Editorial:

All Headline News:

Washington Examiner:

Washington Times:
Black America:

International Press Coverage:

Canadian Broadcasting Corp (CBC):

British Broadcasting Corp (BBC):

Agency French Presse (AFP):
E News Canada:

CNN International:

Local TV Coverage:


NBC 4:



Online Coverage:

Windy City Times:
DC Agenda:

Metro Weekly:
Metrok Weekly:

Washington City Paper:

Lez Get Real:


NBC News DC:

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